My comfort zone.

It came, it left. And now I’m just uncomfortable. 

To whom it may concern...

If anyone should so happen to be curious, as to why there has been a lack of images posted here recently. I can inform you that my phone has died. Which leaves me to use the only other alternative at my disposal. My old and trusted camera. But, since I am a forgetfull person. Said camera tends to be forgotten at home when ever I go out. Or, in a few instances so far. I have simply forgotten to load the pictures into my computer. I shall remedy this problem as son as possible. However, it may take some time. Me being me.

Untill then. Ta ta.

Buddies !!!

Problem uppdate.

First of all. The fishes didn't make it. Of the 18 new ones I got as replacements for the ones that died in the second run. None made it. I am at the moment only mommy to two survivors. If they live, I'm planning on buying 2 more. One as a test and the second as a long term fishy. But that depends on if the tezt fish survives. I'm not there yet so we'll see when that happens.

Apart from that, it's spring here now. Both outside and inside. My porcelain flower has decided to bloom. Out of 5 growing flower stems, three are blossoming. It smells awesome in here. A lot of other things are growing too. I'm gonna try to get some pics of all that is sprouting and post it. I haven't been very good at blogging again. I've been thinking a lot.

Questioning all the possible directions my life can go now, what I want and so on. And I have recently discovered that I have some leftover unhappiness and problems from an event that happens some years ago. I have probably had it for a while now and just ignored to deal with it. Not healthy. I need to get my thoughts and feelings in order and then deal with it. Not looking forward to it.

It actually makes my stomach hurt from thinking about it. I might need professional help. Gah. Anyways. I need to go to bed. I've been having some bad issues with falling asleep lately. Last night was the worst. Had to cancel my climbing session today from lack of energy. Which sucks because I haven't had a proper week of climbing since last year. And it's messing up my low blood pressure.

Holy christ on a dirt bike. 

I'm back!

I was a bit sad to leave all my flowers again. But I did manage to take 3 of the small ones with me. It was a very hard decision to make. But over all, the rest seems to manage ok up there even without me. Big thx to my awesome mom for taking care of them for me.

Needless to say, I had a lot of packing with me. Had to ask Sugar to come and help me at the station. I could have taken the bus, but I din't feel like having to take that extra trip back to go get my bike later. Lazy bitch I know, but it's also nice with some company.

I've unpacked almost everything now, and made my self a little improv desk on the floor at the end of the bed. I'm gonna get my self a proper desk, but I need to get a hold of my ex first. Got some stuff to check and possibly coordinate there. We'll see. I'm fine for now tho.

I've got some pics to show but that will have to wait a little. So happy to be back here. Don't get me wrong. It's nice and fun to visit my family. But this is home now. :)

On the right track.

I've been out and about for a while again, 3 weeks or so. It's strange how much I'm out visiting people and going places now. Well it feels strange for me. Compared to how it was before. When I only went up to visit my family once or twice a year. It's a lot more traveling now. I like it.

I went down to Lkpg again. Stayed a few days with D. Then of to my friend L for a few days before I went back to D for a while again and celebrated his B-day I met S and her bro too. Been taking a lot of pics, watched D climb and picked a LOT of cherries. And some strawberries too. Tasty as fuck.

Got some creative stuff done with L. We did a lot of talking too ofc. Haven't been social with her for ages now. Too bad she got a bit sick while I was there, but I hope she still thinks that it was worth it. I do.

Had a long chat with C about health and stuff which got me thinking about life and everything again. She recommended that I go see someone to help me with my mental issues. A very good idea ofc. I could still use some help even tho some of my issues seem to be gone now.

I'm no longer as scared as I used to be when I meet new people. It's not as hard anymore to talk to them and be social. I'm not so worried about if I'm being annoying or not to them now. Might this be the start of a growing self confidence perhaps? I applied for a job today. It was scary at first but I did it.

I've checked on things I said yesterday that I should check on today. That's a good step. I think I might start with my "to do" lists again. As far as today goes in that case it will be a lot of "done / check" marks on it. I've probably done all the "have to"s today. Might go on to do some creative fiddling now and just enjoy.

I'm feeling very calm and at ease right now. It's nice. Very nice.