Dum Dadi Do.

I think, I'm high on sugar. Or possibly just life. It's not entirely unlikely at all. I am going to crash soooo hard tonight non the less. But I couldn't care a single bit cuz feelings like these are rare and few. And I like it very much so I am going to enjoy it until it's over. No regrets.

It's Friday. Woohoo ! Not that I have anything to celebrate by that. But I like it anyway. Who doesn't like a Friday. Today is another one of those days tho where I really don't have anything special to blog about. So I'm just putting in a few random words and gibberish for fun.

Happy weekend one and all. : )

Birdie business.

This week really didn't start well did it. But never mind that.

I took a pretty pic a few days ago. So today I thought I'd show it and spend a moment for one of our feathered friends. This is Molly, she's one of the pretty birds that my stepfather owns. She is a Blue Fronted Amazon, a quite fat one too because her "cellmate" apparently is a "feeder". As with most of the birds, she is very cute. But the only one she really likes and tolerates is my stepfather, and sometimes my mom.

They're pretty amazing birds and I can totally see why it's fun and interesting to have one. With the exception for all the naughty stuff they put up, they also have a lot of fun things going. Molly doesn't talk much, she does a lot of other cute sounds instead. But some of the other birds do. Hi, goodnight and cookie are often heard here. Most of them are very clever even if they do behave like a 3 year old on a tamper tantrum.

But people should remember that they are very long lived and can be anything from 40 to 80 years old. I think Molly her self can become around 60 years old or so. Most of the big birds my stepfather has are about 1/3 of that age and have come here from other homes that for some reason couldn't or wouldn't handle them anymore. But I'm sure they're happy living here in our little nuthouse. They really look peachy & perky. : )

Just wrong.

I've been sitting on my ass today. Watching anime for hours. I like it, but can only do it for so long. This long. Now I'm getting bored and realize I've done nothing good what so ever today. I feel bad about pretty much anything and everything. Feels like I'm not getting anywhere and hey, couldn't be more true today. I'm a lazy sob.

It really is a bitch. Trying to get anywhere, or to get anything done when you're low like this. I don't understand how this can be. How I can have things that I would want to do and / or get done, but no motivation what so ever to do it. Everything feels lost from the start and I haven't even bothered to try anything. It's just wrong.

Is this what it feels like to have given up your hope ? *sigh*

To like or not.

How much should you care about what others think about your looks ? People you don't know is a no brainer for sure. If they don't know me, they don't have a say about me either. But what about friends, family and coworkers ?

If a good friend or someone in your family says that they don't like your clothes or that they think your hairstyle isn't pretty, how much should you care ? This is a hard topic for me. I won't change because someone doesn't like something about me. But I will feel sad about it, because I want to be liked.

Oh well. I guess people can still like me even if they don't like my choice of pants, hair color or what ever. I think about it much atm because I'm trying to decide what to do about my hair. Let it grow as it is, or maybe cut it in a short hairstyle.

Letting it grow as is would mean longer hair sooner. But a new style would make me feel better about my looks.

Still can't decide.

The good, the bad, the low.

I wonder what on earth I can do to feel better. To get better self esteem. To feel like I'm actually worth the things I want and the stuff I get. If anything bad happens it's all "I probably had it coming, I must be worth this shit". It's probably not a good thought to think.

I wish I had something solid, to show or teach me how to feel like I have a worth. The things I want, I don't feel that I deserve them. You can tell me to my face that I'm just as good as anyone else. But it will only make me cry inside. Because I don't believe the words.

I can't.

Random nonsense.

So many pictures this week, I think we can manage one day without.

Today is one of those days where I feel like blogging but don't really have anything special to blog about. I could go on about everything I feel is wrong or not going in the right direction. Or complain about something I know how to fix and therefore have no right to complain about anyway. So I'll just write some random nonsense for a few rows. Oh wait, I already have. Peachy.

At least it's weekend. That means more company. Or well, a little more at least. And tomorrow I'm of to a flea market. Haven't been to one in ages. Not expecting to buy anything. But it's fun to just look.

Oh well... ta ta.