Sunday, November 20, 2011

Sunday blues.

Yep. It's Sunday. And I'm feeling lower than the floor and the foundation the house is sitting on. Just peachy.

I'm worried about the meeting I'm having tomorrow. It's probably gonna go straight to hell, or at least that's how it feels. I know not everything goes bad, I just can't expect something to go well for me. I'm still stuck in this apartment from hell that isn't even my home. But I'm getting really desperate to get out. The problem is I think I'm holding my self back. Shouldn't do that.

In a little more than a week, I'll be going up to visit my family. Can't even describe just how much I miss them right now. I'm feeling so god damn lonely here. I know I have friends but, well I can't describe it. I just don't believe that they really want to be friends and/or social with me. And everyone is so friggin happy. At least 4 ppl have recently found a bf or gf. I don't want to spoil the mood.

If I had any money to spare I'd go buy some comfort candy. Yep, it's a bad idea. Good thing I can't do it.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Where to start.

I'm not sure a new blog is the best way to deal with life right now. But I've got nothing but time and absolutely nothing to fill my time with. So it can't hurt can it ?

I'm a bit disappointed with the doctors here, in general. Feels like they're asking me more than telling me what I should or shouldn't do right now. I mean, I told them my issues. Help me, don't ask me what I want to do. I feel like crap and there's nothing I can do about it my self. If I had a choice in the matter, I'd end up watching the wall in my bedroom for hours and hours. Good huh ?

This is just starting to feel so complicated. Was I not honest enough when I went to her the first time ? But then again. She did listen to me. She did say this medication was only for a short period of time. And she is checking up on me once a month asking how I'm doing. I can't do some things I should do, but I am doing things I don't have to do. The later is helping tho.

I wish I was more normal like other ppl. But seems a lot of ppl are having issues too, so who's normal really ? At least I'm working on it. However slow the progress may be.

If only I could speed it up.